I’m Gemma (aka MelancholyWolf) and I’ve been uploading my work online since 2016. My art journey has been seemingly short but a lot has happened in the span of just a few years.
I first started making game screenshot edits from games like FeralHeart & World of Warcraft – this then led to me using free line art made by other artists to paint my characters with, which then also led to me wanting to learn how to draw.
Skipping forward a few years, I ended up dropping out of an art college course in 2019 because I couldn’t handle the stress of such a fast-paced environment. (This will make more sense a little later)
More info: Instagram
#1 Golden Spaniel
I jumped between art styles a lot and it was a very confusing time for me – my lack of routine from not being in employment or education meant that my time had very little value to me, and so I spent most of my time sleeping and playing games – things got slightly better after I started volunteering at a local charity shop, but then the pandemic hit a few months later. (I know, my luck is clearly great haha)
#2 Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever
Then during the pandemic, I found a lump on my breast and this made me completely re-think my values. (It turned out not to be anything harmful, don’t worry!) I realized I’d neglected art for so long, and found every chance to avoid drawing before this point. This lead to me drawing 5 days a week – it was quickly after starting this new routine that I finally found my art style after 5 years and I was so happy to be able to open myself up to taking on commissions!
#3 Silver Tabby (A Portrait Of My Own Cat)
Then another big thing happened. I was diagnosed with autism.
For a little context, during my last year of school, I became extremely mentally ill – I’d struggled with mental illness for a long time, but this time intervention was required. After 6 months of being on a waitlist for therapy, my first session was a complete disaster as I cried my eyes out and was completely unable to cooperate. A few sessions in, it was determined that I needed to go on a waitlist for an autism screening, as traditional therapy clearly wasn’t working.
#4 Bella Portrait
So back to 5 years later, I finally got my diagnosis.
I’m still unable to say how I feel about my Autism – it’s such a relief to know why I struggle with seemingly simple things; like going out to unfamiliar and loud places, making friends, and dealing with the slightest change to my routine or environment. On the other hand, I felt frustrated and angry that I had only managed to get my diagnosis at age 19, when the symptoms of autism had been present in me since nursery, and yet teachers and doctors waited until it was a life or death situation to finally offer me the help I needed.
#5 Enzo Portrait
However, my autism isn’t entirely bad. It’s what makes me so dedicated to my interest in animals and art, and it makes me question everything around me instead of just accepting how things are, and for that, I would never wish to be rid of it.
Thank you for reading, below are some examples of my recent work as well as some older pieces. I personally feel that my art style over the years has reflected my mental states during those times, with my art taking a depressing turn during school and then a very confusing turn during the start of my unemployment. I like to feel that my art style now reflects my happiness and contentment with where I am in life.
#6 Loli Portrait
I’m still unemployed, but I am volunteering in an office now and I’m hopeful that paid employment will soon come around.
#7 Pirate Portrait
#8 Billie Eilish Fanart
#9 “Day vs. Night”
#10 Piece From 2020 During My Most Confusing Time
#11 Piece From 2017 While I Was At My Lowest Point
#12 One Of My Oldest Pieces From 2016 (I Know It’s Ugly Lol)
Art – Bored Panda